I hurt her

I hurt one of my best friends. I love her to death. I picked a bad day to tell her that I can't talk to anyone via text or facebook anymore and I worded it very badly. That cuts me to the quick.
I'm a rash and impulsive human. I made a decision based on what my kid said to me (which is that I don't care about her or anyone else in this house, I only care about facebook and texting) and I deleted contacts in my phone too quickly to say anything, I delivered the message in a piss poor way.
She feels badly, and too many people agree that I'm a selfish person to have done it.
They're right. I am.
I hate that I've hurt her. I hate a lot of things about myself.
I don't know what I'm doing. I can't figure out how to keep everyone happy. I can't even keep me happy.
To those I passed a message to rashly and quickly, I apologize. I hope someday that I'm worthy of forgiveness for being such a jerk. If I'm not, I understand. It's been impressed upon me for many years that unless I bend to the will of others and comply that I'm bad and wrong. I've accepted that. If you can forgive me for how I put the needs of my kids above mine, then thank you.
Someday, maybe, I will be able to put my thoughts and feelings above those of others. Until then, email me and hopefully I will be able to answer.
If you can't continue to be my friend because of this, I understand that as well. And it's okay.
I love you.